No one can be what God intended without God

The other day someone asked me if I was still being a “house wife”.  Having been unemployed for over a year now with no hope of real employment in sight I suppose I should have just let that roll off my back, but it cut me; it poured salt into the wounded male ego I have been carrying.   (what’s ironically funny is that I got the motivation to write this while cleaning up the kitchen after baking pies but I couldn’t stop to write until I had finished the dishes).  

I Have looked for work, but at 60+ and overweight and arthritic and slightly deaf (plus other physical ailments) this laborer has run out of labor…this driver is out of drive…this mechanic has lost his torque…this carpenter can’t cut it. 

The jack of all trades has nothing left to trade.

But, all ego and masculinity aside, I’m still not a “wife”.  Not that there is anything wrong with being a wife, it’s just that I am not one.  My wife has a husband.  I am the Spiritual leader of my home even if I’m not the bread-winner.  I still open the Ketchup bottles in my home (unless one of my son-in-laws is there to do it for me).  

In this era of gender confusion and so called “gender fluidity”, let’s be clear; “In the beginning God made them male and female”, and He made me a male.  No matter how masculine I may appear my “Y” chromosome says “Male”;  I have slightly more muscle mass and bone mass than my wife; I am anatomically correct for my lot in life; I grow a beard to no one’s surprise; I am a father on Father’s Day, and every other day;  I’m so bright my mother calls me SON!  And maybe most importantly at this point in life, I am grandpa (Papa)!

What is your definition of wife?  It strikes me how sad it is we have to even address that question today.  Words are fluid and they mean what they are intended to mean.  So what do you intend when you say “wife”?  If your definition of “wife” is the one who stays home and takes care of domestic chores you might plug me into that narrative.  I’m not embarrassed to say I have developed my domestic skills over that last few years.  My better half works hard and supports me; I think it’s the least I can do.  

While my wife earns a good living and manages our money and balances the check-book; and can whip up a meal from an empty cupboard when we don’t feel like shopping;  I can usually fix the family car, build what needs built, run all the power tools and saws with some skill, set a fence post in concrete and do all those guy things with guns… and open the jars…but, would it matter if we switched any or all of those roles?  Or is a wife still a wife and a husband still a husband regardless of skill or duty?

There is no room here to dig into the definition of biblical manhood and womanhood.   Although I think it’s safe to say, it’s not about power or rights, it’s about responsibility and mutual submission to each other in the role God has ordained.  Men, step up and take responsibility for your families spiritual condition as well as their physical needs.  Women, no man can nurture like you can.  

Men, there is a time to be masculine; women, a time to be feminine.  It takes both of you to make a family and both of you to teach your children how to be the next generation of men and women.  

In gender identity, it matters what you are, not what you feel; so be the best woman or man you can be.   Submit to God for strength and guidance, because no one can be what God intended without God.